15 Comments
May 13, 2021Liked by Ashley Feinberg

Gotta be honest. I didn't think the thing that would be the most unnerving in your search history would be a Tic Tok couple.

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I thought there was going to be a tragic lack of Phantom Menace-related erotica when the “splitting maul penis” search turned out to be something different than what I initially thought/feared, but you finished strong and gave the people what they came for.

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1) i didn't realize fivey existed and 2) i didn't realize fanart of fivey existed but now i have seen both and i just...this is the risk you take when you subscribe to a newsletter that Feinberg runs, I guess

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The French tiktok guy freaked me out when like three days ago I found out he is 30 years old. As in literally born in 1990, 30 years old. I was hoping you also did a deep dive into what surgery he did to look like a 17 year old because it scares me so much.

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How is this the way I learned the word “meatus”?

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Kinda surprised there was nothing about smash mouth or shrek in there

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Extremely glad I do all my worrisome searches in Bing, so I'm safe forever now.

THAT close to blowing my future Senate confirmation hearings.

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This is a deranged post, the past year really took a lot outta you, huh?

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1) Is there not a picture of Trump as the Cowardly Lion from Wizard of Oz? 2) I also don't know how old I am, no shame there.

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To be fair, I DO believe I get different results searching for the same terms again and again and again

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How much do you hate Ashley Furniture?

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Nude Shrek gets old after a while. You have to spice up slack with some nude Jar Jar

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In Ashley's defense sometimes you gotta google just the right word combination because someone else posted it with that combination, you can't remember it exactly, and it can make a difference in the results.

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