Just over a week ago, JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon revealed that he, like many of the world’s richest and most powerful, keeps a secret Instagram account. From Business Insider:
"A lot of people say, 'I'm not going to go back to work.' Look at their Instagrams," Dimon said. "They didn't get sick from coming into the office. They got sick partying."
"You're on Instagram?" [Kristin Lemkau, JPMorgan Chase’s current CEO of US wealth management] asked in response.
Dimon replied that yes, he did have an account — but good luck finding him. He said it wasn't under his name and he signed up for the social-media platform to see what it was and how it might be used for advertising purposes.
Dimon also added that “a lot of the lists of people I should friend are people that I have relations with. It annoys me how they got that.” Why, that is annoying, Jamie. It’s also a very helpful tidbit when it comes to hunting down this mysterious account, since it means Dimon is likely following at least a few people with whom he has known ties—his three daughters, for instance. Unfortunately, his eldest daughter, Jules, has a locked account, which means there’s no way for us to see the names of the 195 people currently following her. The same goes for his youngest, Kara, and her 968 followers. Then we get to his middle daughter, Laura, who has a mercifully unlocked account but a whopping 1,688 followers. An annoying quantity to have to pore through, certainly, but nothing we here at Trashberg can’t handle.
While Laura Dimon has dozens of anonymous, profile picture–less accounts following her, only one of those incognito users exclusively follows members of Jamie Dimon’s immediate family or those with some connection to JPMorgan Chase. Please allow me to present jackmason529, an account that, up until roughly 4:30 p.m. today, looked like this.
Update 6:05 pm: The instagram account has now gone private.
While the name Jack Mason doesn’t appear to hold any obvious significance in Dimon’s life, the account seems unmistakably his.
Here is everyone Jack Mason follows on Instagram.
First up, we have the wildly fake-sounding name of one Joey Romeo. As it turns out, the name is mostly real (actual first name: Joseph) and belongs to Jules Dimon’s husband. While online references to this particular son-in-law are largely non-existent, you can still find a landing page for the couple’s 2011 wedding registry, in addition to a quick mention at the bottom of Theodore Dimon’s obituary. Joey also appears to have “liked” the page for Chase on Facebook. Come on, Joey. Play it cool.
The official J.P. Morgan account speaks for itself, bringing us to Thasunda Duckett. Until just over a month ago, Duckett was the Chase consumer banking CEO, which naturally would have put her in close contact with Dimon. Following her, we have Jules and Laura Dimon, Jamie’s oldest and middle daughters, respectively.
And then we have Judy Miller, or judymiller109, the current chief of staff at JPMorgan Chase. According to Chase’s online org chart, her direct manager is none other than Jamie Dimon himself.
Judy also happens to have a private Instagram account, meaning that she had to actively approve a follow request from jackmason529. A haphazard approver would surely have more than 64 followers. What’s more, she follows only 88 people herself, one of whom is our own jackmason529. Jack Mason’s only other pre-4:30 p.m. follower, Jules Dimon, also has a private account. She follows a mere 55 accounts.
It’s highly unlikely that two such discerning Instagram users would follow, much less allow into their own private sphere, someone they didn’t know. And based on what we can glean from public information, one member of the limited set of people they’re both certain to know is, of course, Jamie Dimon.
Finally, we have Kristin Lemkau, JPMorgan Chase’s current CEO of US wealth management and the woman who got Dimon to reveal the existence of his account in the first place.
Now, for some reason, after I reached out to JPMorgan Chase for comment on the account, two more people suddenly followed jackmason529. One of those people was Lemkau, and the second was a woman named Allison Beer, JPMorgan Chase’s chief product officer for consumer and community banking. Curious, indeed.
So, we know Dimon has an anonymous Instagram account, and we’re almost certain we know which account that is. But what about Twitter? It seems unlikely that Instagram would be the only social media platform Dimon might be curious about. And indeed, with a bit of patience and a considerable amount of determination, endlessly scrolling through daughter Laura Dimon’s Twitter followers will eventually bring you to our new friend, @jackmason1313.
While Instagram Jack Mason has never posted any content himself, the Twitter version does give us a bit more to go on, and as it just so happens, most what is there can indeed be tied back to Dimon. We begin with the only tweet @jackmason1313 has ever sent in its eight years of existence, and which was directed at Box CEO Aaron Levie. That lone tweet was even faved by Levie himself.
Though little has been written about any personal connection Jamie Dimon might have to Levie, just a few months prior to the tweet, Box held its initial public offering. One of the major underwriters for that IPO was, you guessed it, J.P. Morgan. And exactly one day before @jackmason1313 sent his only tweet, Jamie Dimon had reportedly held a secret party with Warren Buffett “for 150 or so corporate titans.” According to Yahoo Finance, “Most in attendance were J.P. Morgan clients.”
In addition to his lone tweet, @jackmason1313 has also faved a total of three tweets.
The first was by Dimon’s daughter, Laura. Speaking from experience with my own mother, I can confidently say there are few things parents love more than faving their children’s tweets. What’s more, Laura even took note of the fav in a reply to her own tweet.
While it’s not impossible that she might strike up a casual conversation with a complete stranger, it seems much likelier that @jackmason1313 is someone she knows.
Next, we have an article about a then-recent scandal at the Potomac School, an elite prep school just outside D.C. While Dimon doesn’t have any apparent connection to the school himself, a bit of digging into the alumni magazine reveals that Tamara Dimon, the wife of Jamie Dimon’s twin brother, Ted, is herself a Potomac School alum. As for the Tim O’Reilly tweet, Dimon has indicated at least some interest in coding, but that seems to be about where the connection ends.
Twitter Jack Mason also follows quite a few more accounts than Instagram Jack Mason, and while the Twitter follows are a touch less personal, they still fit squarely with Jamie Dimon’s interests.
The list consists of fellow CEOs, official JPMorgan Chase accounts and those of the competition, fellow billionaire Marc Andreesen’s blog, a Dimon daughter, and of course, the inevitable Steven Pinker, prophet of rich-people hooey.
Of course, it’s possible that we’ve actually just stumbled upon the world’s only Dimon family/big bank/CEO superfan who managed to trick several people close to Jamie Dimon into accepting follow requests and who somehow succeeded in getting on Aaron Levie’s radar—in addition to gaining two JPMorgan-related followers after I reached out to the company. But barring this unlikely series of coincidences, it would certainly seem we’re dealing with none other than Jamie Dimon himself.
A spokesman for J.P. Morgan declined to comment, and though Dimon’s daughter, Laura, has seen my request for comment according to Twitter’s read receipts, I have yet to hear back.
I’ll update if and when that changes. But until then, I will see you all again on Saturday.
Ashley is like if Carl Bernstein was bitten by a radioactive shitposter.
A "529" is a type of tax-advantaged investment account. 3/13 is Jamie Dimon's birthday