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The most sacred place on the internet is David Cameron's Twitter replies
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The most sacred place on the internet is David Cameron's Twitter replies

"Jog on Dave you pig shagging prat"

Ashley Feinberg
Apr 22, 2021
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The most sacred place on the internet is David Cameron's Twitter replies
www.trashberg.com
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Because I’m currently working on a more intensive Trashberg investigation that should (hopefully) be ready next week, today we’re just going to look at a quick little phenomenon that I’ve admired for years now. But first, we must remember the time that David Cameron (allegedly) put his dick in a dead pig.

The year is 2015. Barack Obama is president, Donald Trump is little more than a sideshow candidate, and the single greatest collection of words ever to grace Wikipedia (seen below) has yet to be deleted by the Philistines it calls editors.

Wikipedia

We were living in a golden age, ignorant and unconcerned with all that would eventually come to pass. But then the Daily Mail told us that a college-aged David Cameron had put his penis inside the mouth of a decapitated pig’s head. The revelation came as part of an excerpt from an unauthorized biography of Cameron by former Conservative Party deputy chair Lord Michael Ashcroft and journalist Isabel Oakeshott:

A distinguished Oxford contemporary claims Cameron once took part in an outrageous initiation ceremony at a Piers Gaveston event, involving a dead pig. His extraordinary suggestion is that the future PM inserted a private part of his anatomy into the animal’s mouth.

The authors go on to say that this source, “himself an MP,” repeated the allegation at least three times, adding that he claims to have seen a photograph and that the pig’s head “had been resting on the lap of a Piers Gaveston society member while Cameron performed the act.” For those unfamiliar with the Piers Gaveston Society, Sick Note author and British friend of Trashberg Libby Watson offers some helpful context:

The University of Oxford, founded as early as 1096, is Britain’s oldest and most elite university. With that prestige, and with Britain’s intensely ridiculous aristocratic traditions, comes the existence of several secretive and exclusive societies—think Yale’s Skull and Bones but with perhaps more focus on getting totally sloshed. These groups pride themselves on frightfully naughty behavior: drinking, taking drugs, trashing pubs, and generally reveling in the excess and protection that extreme wealth and privilege provide. […] And supposedly the Piers Gaveston society (or “Piers Gav”) is one of the most depraved of the lot. 

Now, whether there was any sort of thrusting on Cameron’s part, or if he simply placed his penis inside the mouth of the dead farm animal resting on his friend’s lap only to stand perfectly still as his peers looked on in silence, remains unclear. Also unclear is whether or not anything about this story is actually true. There seems to be at least some reason to believe the book is an act of revenge, though the journalist who co-wrote the biography with Lord Ashcroft claimed otherwise. And there’s also no definitive proof that Cameron ever belonged to the Piers Gaveston Society. But as with most things online, the truth of it all matters less than the fact that, for a solid week at least, millions of people were imagining David Cameron’s penis in the mouth of a dead pig. The unusual part here, though, is that the story has lived on in Cameron’s Twitter replies. People there have faithfully carried the pig-shagging torch for the past six years and show no signs of ever putting it down.

In the immediate aftermath of the story, Cameron was unable to tweet without receiving constant, increasingly profane reminders of his alleged pork porking. That’s to be expected. But even just this month, when David Cameron tweeted his condolences upon the death of Prince Philip…

Twitter avatar for @David_CameronDavid Cameron @David_Cameron
Statement from David Cameron, on the sad news that His Royal Highness The Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh has passed away:
Image

April 9th 2021

148 Retweets1,384 Likes

…his dedicated followers responded with this.

Twitter avatar for @Ldh26Ralph Dingleberry @Ldh26
@David_Cameron
flapping david cameron GIF

April 9th 2021

3 Retweets18 Likes
Twitter avatar for @JacobTurnerArtJacobTurnerArt @JacobTurnerArt
@David_Cameron Oink

April 11th 2021

3 Likes
Twitter avatar for @hermeneutics15hermeneutics @hermeneutics15
@David_Cameron
Pig Hog GIF

April 9th 2021

Here’s Dave mourning the death of conservative MP Cheryl Gillan:

Twitter avatar for @David_CameronDavid Cameron @David_Cameron
So very sad to hear that Cheryl Gillan has passed away. A hugely valued member of my front bench team, both in Opposition & Govt, & such a kind, hard working & formidable Parliamentarian over three decades, she will be hugely missed. My thoughts are with Cheryl's family & friends

April 5th 2021

53 Retweets768 Likes

And here are Dave’s followers, mourning that poor, possibly apocryphal pig:

Twitter avatar for @sundayfireworksbillie kay stan account @sundayfireworks
@David_Cameron
Image

April 5th 2021

1 Retweet7 Likes
Twitter avatar for @BobbiNechayevBobbi QELD🏴 @BobbiNechayev
@David_Cameron 🐷🍆

April 5th 2021

Twitter avatar for @loganstevenJanice Barnes. @logansteven
@David_Cameron #SnoutsInTheTrough #DodgyDave #Piggate #GreensillScandal
Pig Mud GIF by MOODMAN

April 12th 2021

Look, David Cameron got vaccinated!

Twitter avatar for @David_CameronDavid Cameron @David_Cameron
Huge 'thank you' to our brilliant NHS & all the amazing staff & volunteers working on the UK’s deeply impressive vaccine programme. I was proud to have my jab this morning & encourage everyone to take theirs when the call comes - it's crucial we look after ourselves & each other.
Image

March 2nd 2021

138 Retweets2,070 Likes

Everyone is very excited for our friend David.

Twitter avatar for @ImaBougieProleImaBougieProle🧁 @ImaBougieProle
@David_Cameron
Image
Image

March 2nd 2021

3 Retweets63 Likes
Twitter avatar for @ryszardsys1ryszardsys @ryszardsys1
@David_Cameron @RobertSyms Well fcuk a pigs head! Mr. “I’ll see Brexit through” has the vax.

March 2nd 2021

David Cameron, clearly not one to shy away from somber tweets, commemorates Holocaust Memorial Day.

Twitter avatar for @David_CameronDavid Cameron @David_Cameron
This #HolocaustMemorialDay , we honour and remember Holocaust victims and survivors. We listen and learn so we may educate future generations, and we say #NeverAgain to ensure atrocities of the past – including all acts of genocide – are never repeated.
Image

January 27th 2021

124 Retweets899 Likes

And his followers dutifully commemorate David Cameron’s commemoration of Holocaust memorial day.

Twitter avatar for @TheJC92TheJC @TheJC92
@David_Cameron
Image

January 28th 2021

Twitter avatar for @concernedcanuckLemony Snicket's A Series of Normal Ones @concernedcanuck
@David_Cameron Keeping Kosher now Dave? 🐷

February 2nd 2021

David Cameron encourages citizens to vote:

Twitter avatar for @David_CameronDavid Cameron @David_Cameron
Remember to vote today - and to #VoteConservative #GeneralElection19
Image

December 12th 2019

308 Retweets2,522 Likes

Citizens encourage David Cameron to get fucked:

Twitter avatar for @_craig_____Craig @_craig_____
@David_Cameron Oink

December 12th 2019

1 Retweet15 Likes
Twitter avatar for @chloeannelilliachloé @chloeannelillia
@David_Cameron get back in yer shed pig shagger

December 12th 2019

Twitter avatar for @geath81Gavin Heath @geath81
@David_Cameron Get fucked pig nonce

December 12th 2019

Twitter avatar for @NathanTimpanonathan timpano @NathanTimpano
@David_Cameron Pig shagger

December 12th 2019

28 Likes
Twitter avatar for @italian_hallionJack S @italian_hallion
@David_Cameron
Image

December 12th 2019

25 Likes
Twitter avatar for @Jamie_BKJamie @Jamie_BK
@David_Cameron Shagged a pig tho

December 12th 2019

Twitter avatar for @TheClubFootClubPaul 🥀 @TheClubFootClub
@David_Cameron
Image

December 12th 2019

David Cameron discusses Alzheimer’s research:

Twitter avatar for @David_CameronDavid Cameron @David_Cameron
Great to be on @BBCr4today earlier, talking about @AlzResearchUK’s EDoN initiative – a vital missing piece of the puzzle when it comes to diagnosing diseases that cause dementia. Hear the full interview at 2h 34m:
bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0…

November 11th 2020

19 Retweets102 Likes

And staying on theme, users decide to jog his memory:

Twitter avatar for @gregsy56Wayne Mcgregor Photography. @gregsy56
@David_Cameron @BBCr4today @AlzResearchUK This little Piggy is a W****r

November 11th 2020

Twitter avatar for @emmanuel_gold5Emmanuel Goldstein @emmanuel_gold5
@David_Cameron @BBCr4today @AlzResearchUK Fuck a pig you cunt.

November 11th 2020

Since the day the Daily Mail article broke, Cameron has not been able to craft a single tweet that didn’t elicit jubilant replies about pig fucking.

Twitter
Twitter
Twitter
Twitter
Twitter
Twitter
Twitter
Twitter

And while a number replies come from Americans eager to get in on the fun, many more are unmistakably, aggressively British.

Twitter avatar for @AjGhostArmAlex 'Ghost Arm' J @AjGhostArm
@David_Cameron Jog on Dave you pig shagging prat.

December 12th 2018

Twitter avatar for @FwDTVSon of a Fisherman - By the sea @FwDTV
@David_Cameron Did you really put ones widgey in the piggy... yes ma'am, for queen and country...Well one is an utter bellend then.

April 21st 2018

Twitter avatar for @noimspartakusbryan benson Esq @noimspartakus
@David_Cameron you absolute cockwomble, how about a pig fucking your face? 🐷 🐓 🛎🔚

January 16th 2019

Twitter avatar for @NeedhamChris10Chris Needham @NeedhamChris10
@David_Cameron @Conservatives Piss off you posh pig nonce.

December 12th 2019

2 Likes
Twitter avatar for @Aubrey_3000Aubrey @Aubrey_3000
@David_Cameron You get distracted every time Peppa Pig is on the telly, you bloated bellend

December 12th 2018

So as you go about your day, I urge you to take time to appreciate the dedication and fury of the brave posters who take it upon themselves day in and day out to remind the former prime minister that, as far as the people are concerned, David Cameron’s only other legacy besides profoundly fucking over the UK is that, once in college, he allegedly put his dick inside of a dead pig’s mouth.

Twitter avatar for @Lew_Black94Black @Lew_Black94
@David_Cameron treat me like that pig you fucked and fill my arsehole with mini cheddars ya naughty little Tory

October 26th 2018

1 Like
Twitter avatar for @notatorielovermkktbkkt. @notatorielover
@David_Cameron Oink oink its pepper pig

May 24th 2019

And with that, I will see you all again tomorrow with the first locked edition of Friday Trashbag.

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Big Dick Nick Cage
Apr 22, 2021Liked by Ashley Feinberg

This is entirely validating my subscription decision. Money well spent already.

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Reply Girl
Apr 22, 2021

🐖

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