Let's see how Duncan Hunter celebrated his Trump pardon
A launch week Trashberg micro-edition
Since this is kind of a weird week (it being Trashberg’s launch week and all) I figured we can officially get into our regular programming starting Tuesday. Today, a mere trashmorsel to send you off into the weekend.
If you’ll recall, back in 2020, then-U.S. Rep. Duncan Hunter pleaded guilty to illegally using campaign money to fund his and his family’s lavish lifestyle. A couple highlights from the original indictment, which charged Hunter and his wife, Margaret, with throwing around more than $250,000 in campaign funds:
On or about March 20, 2015, when Duncan Hunter told Margaret Hunter that he was planning “to buy my Hawaii shorts” but had run out of money, she counseled him to buy the shorts at a golf pro shop so that they could falsely describe the purchase later as ‘some [golf] balls for the wounded warriors.'
And don’t forget:
On or about November 19 to 29, 2015, the HUNTERS spent $14,261.33 (including airfare) in Campaign funds to pay for a family vacation to Italy.
On or about November 23, 2015, in an attempt to justify the use of Campaign funds to pay for the family’s trip to Italy, Duncan Hunter attempted to set up a day tour of a U.S. naval facility in Italy. After Navy officials responded that they could only provide a tour on a particular date, Duncan Hunter said he would discuss the proposed date with Margaret Hunter, then subsequently told his Chief of Staff, “tell the navy to go f*** themselves [no alteration in original],” and no tour occurred.
There was also the $625 on various plane tickets for a pet rabbit, the hundreds of dollars worth of video games on Steam, and the five different affairs prosecutors also accused him of funding with campaign cash. Anyway, Trump pardoned our boy, getting him out of his upcoming 11-month stint in federal prison, and giving vaping forums everywhere their hero back.
Now, I don’t remember exactly when I first requested access to the now-pardoned former congressman’s locked Instagram using one of my throwaway accounts. I assume it was when I first uncovered his preferred online username, uberjaeger— although it might also have been when the indictment came down. Either way, it’s been a while. Which is why I was particularly taken aback several weeks ago when I discovered that, for some reason, Duncan Hunter had finally granted me access to his online inner sanctum. Why did he decide that now was the time to let in a random account that exclusively follows famous conservative figures and has no actual photos of its own? That’s between him and God and possibly a stray mistress or two. For now, all that matters is that we have learned how an absolute scumbag celebrates getting off scot-free.
By having his children make him a little treat, it would seem.
The rest of Hunter’s Instagram is decidedly less illuminating, consisting largely of photos like this:
Thug life, indeed.
We can all go on with our day feeling assured that, despite the pardon, Hunter seems to have truly learned his lesson. Have a wonderful weekend, and I will see you all on Tuesday.
Oh, and Newt wishes you a happy weekend, as well.
Thank you, Newt.